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With this new web log, I am going to revolutionize the world of … um … bloggery. Each and every day I will read the entire Internet to cull the wheat from the chaff, and supply you with fascinating links, as well as my own profound thoughts, in a way that will go down like buttah. Throw out all the other blogs you currently read; just toss all those worthless bookmarks into the garbage. This sucker will be all you need.
Here’s how I envision the Indoors blog will read as I keep adding posts.

An Idol Fantasy
American Idol fans seem to idolize (ha!) Simon, but I find him to be far too mild-mannered and nice. If only I could replace Simon at the judges’ table during auditions …

Randy Jackson: What you got for us, dawg?
Contestant: I’m going to sing Whitney’s “I’ll Always Love You.”
Indoors (wincing): Oh GOD.
Contestant screeches the song as Randy and Paula look on politely, and I cover my ears with my hands.
Randy: Dawg, it was a little pitchy … can’t do it, sorry, man.
Paula: Uh … I don’t know … ummmm … the song is … very emotional …
Indoors (turning to Paula): So very eloquent as per usual, Paula. Are you pleasuring yourself under the table? Is that why you can’t get the words out? What you mean to say to the singer is this: DIE. Go. To. Hell. Get out of our sight this instant. Release the hounds!
Randy: Aw, don’t do him like that, dawg.
Indoors: Silence, you contemptible worm.

Comments
Dog, don’t be hatin’ on Randy, he’s the best thing on Idle. — Randyfan07
Is the contestent a boy or a gurl? — Tina
Awesome! ROFLMAO! — Beezer265

More on David Caruso
This youtube video montage of David Caruso removing his sunglasses and murmuring like an imbecile is making the rounds, and once again, I have to say: David Caruso thinks mighty highly of himself as one sexy beast for no discernable reason.

Comments
Dog, don’t be hatin’ on David Caruso, he’s the best thing on CSI. —HoratioFan07
Yeh, and what about Wm. Peterson? He sux too. I’d do Margie Heglenburger and Emily Procter tho — Gino
Perhaps you should put yourself out there on the line as other courageous, talented people do every day, and see what a deeply gifted actor must go through before casting aspersions. — DavidC

The face of our Acorn-American friends
Our squirrel pals are particularly active this time of year, and I’ve put together a mug book of squirrels from different parts of the country. I think you’ll find the variety fascinating …

Comments
Very nice … I’ve drawn targets over each and every one. BLAM-O! Heh heh — StreetRatKiller
What the hell is the matter with you, anyway? — Phil83